A pretty self indulgent blog post I’m not going to lie…
To put this post into context you may need to read THIS first.
In May 2014 I pretty much hit my rock bottom, or at least I hope things don’t get worse! But now, at the start of 2015 I am genuinely so proud of myself. I still have a very long way to go but I can feel things (very slowly) changing and I don’t think we as humans give ourselves enough credit, so here I am saying;
- I am proud of myself for moving to London all on my own. For attending job interviews, arranging flat viewings, phoning utility companies and registering for a doctors surgery. There was once a time when I hated change! My dad always likes to remind me of the time I said ‘I don’t like change, I don’t even like it when people change their phone number!’. Well 8 year old Siana…look at yourself now!
- I am proud of myself for securing an internship at my dream agency with no help from family connections or my ‘fairy godfather’ dad who until this point had arranged every opportunity I had.
- I am proud of myself for meeting new people and making new friends.
- I am proud of myself for no longer being afraid to be alone. For going to the theatre or the cinema by myself and being completely content.
- I am proud of myself for saying yes to more, even if I am afraid, for not hiding away in my flat and for making my time here so much better because of it.
As I said I still have a long way to go, there are still a lot of things I avoid, and things that make my stomach turn just thinking about them, but I honestly feel like London life is slowly but surely changing me for the better and bringing me out of my shell. I have absolutely no idea what this year is going to bring, or where I am going to be come the end of it, or how I am going to feel, but I’m going to fasten my seatbelt and attempt to stay on this roller-coaster (wow what a cheese ball I can be!).
I don’t think I say this enough but thank you to everyone who has helped me in some way, big or small, it doesn’t go unnoticed!
Lots of love xxx